To dad, Father, Sir, Pa, Poppa, Stepfathers, Best friends, Heros, Grandparents, Uncles, Brothers everywhere…Happy Fathers Day!
Today is Fathers Day, a Day that for many that will bring Love, Laughter, memories and Great Food! Children everywhere will at some point remembering something their father did or said that makes them smile. Others may remember with sadness due to loss, be it death, divorce or a parting of the ways…the man who stood so tall in their heart, albeit with sadness…they will remember, and the day shall pass with stories told of yesterday…those pieces of our mind that hold strong to the one person who took our hand and helped us learn life lessons of today. Some Fathers Golf, some play ball, some build tree houses and decks, some ride the road, some man the home…but with their time and their commitment memories are built. Heart are strengthened, broken and repaired when needed. Our relationships with outsiders are influenced by the the bonds we forge. The string is given for freedom and independence and it our choice to take it where we may.
My memories of my father are strong. He was the first man to take my hand, hold my heart and he was the first to break it. He encouraged me when I was younger, he disciplined me when it was necessary, and he bravely ventured into the world of driving lessons. He provided life lessons based on the few stories he shared when we were younger, and years later he held tight to my mothers hand when she lay dying of cancer. I remember taking his arm when we were in the water at the beach over the years, his arm when he walked me down the aisle, his shoulder when I divorced. He encouraged me when I went back to school, and teased me about it becoming a life long job. He remained in my my younger years my white knight. Our relationship was the one where in a room of people we were silent, but alone could talk up a storm. He knew things outside of the realm of just being Daddy, and he embraced my children with a love that held no bounds. He read books I never thought of and he had a knowledge that was vast, amazing me each time he shared those morsels. He had his chair that we remained clear of, the TV remote was his at night and he could make a fire when we were camping, and he always made the perfect marshmallow in the embers that my siblings and I clamored to copy (my youngest daughter would make him proud in this arena…she is the Marshmallow queen!). He sat at the table as we discussed many an embarrassing topics, sharing in our day, our adventures and our laughter.
Over the years we have parted ways,both remaining stubborn in our resolve, quiet in our disillusionment, and silent on the vast gulf between us. Disillusioned in the choices made and our owns hurts prevent us from coming together, but I hold on to the memories of yesterday, for they are the memories of my childhood. I remember camping in the rain, card games that I never really took a liking to, trips to the beach where he carried us over the hot sand. I remember getting caught calling him “Old man” to my uncle (yupp something I never repeated!), and him scaring the heck out of us at the latest ‘Jason’ Movie on TV. He had a quirky sense of humor, he worked hard and he listened when we needed him.
I share with my children the joys and heartache of growing up, and I encourage them to remain open to communicating in their relationships with others. Today the girls will call their father, and wish him a Happy Fathers Day, and they too will laugh and share the stories created growing up. Today they will celebrate the men who stepped up and support them when they need, teasing and taunting with hopes of old age creeping upon.
Today I will send out a silent Happy Fathers Day to my own father, knowing he is on the golf course with hundreds of others dads listening to the birds, chasing the ball down the fairway…doing what he does best…making memories with my brother. For the resolve he taught me, for the strength he showed Thank you. I will even send one to my ex husband, because without him…I would not have this adventurous ride as a mother I have had, nor the tales to share.
Happy Fathers Day to all the Men who step up…