Today is Friday….a glorious Friday! The sun is shining, there is a threat of rain, some humidity is in the air…and my morning starts with the chaos that is my definition. AM I despondent? Well save for the curly out of control hair…no. I am making a list in my head…dust, floors, laundry, bathroom, playroom, windows, make lunch, nap time, dinner on, dessert made?, dishes, kitchen clean, floors swept again, laundry…bath time, snack, pvr set…garbage out…shower…then to sleep. Throw in potty training, baking, volunteering, Facebook, and this my latest the blog…budgeting lessons with my friends @CanadianBudgetBinder (check out their blog www.canadianbudgetbinder.com)…and no I’m not exhausted…in fact I’m thinking… This is my Chaos.
My morning always starts out with children, and simple things like clothing, scheduling, breakfast…who wants what, who will be home for lunch, what are to-days agenda for school (some are in extra curricular activities) and yet at the same time I am looking at my surroundings and deciding what task I shall undertake today. Someone will always intrude on my thought, allowing me a moment to redirect then back at it! Time to buckle in and get to work! Dust is calling.
For many, you may ask…So? Whats the big deal?…well seriously the big deal is, this is a new thing for me…new as within the past three years. New as in, it drives me CRAZY literally if things are out of order. My children laugh at my new phobia, my ex-husband calls me OCD and smiles at my neurotic behaviour…but in order for my day to be complete I must…wipe the counter, fill the dishwasher, fold the load, clean the floor…move the furniture and sweep under it, wash the door or trim, clean the windows, replace the garbage and clean out the cans….peer into the yard and make sure no paper is blown in or lying about…meals are planned two weeks in advance, couponing is completed each Thursday with a plan for store visits, as I don’t currently drive. I have become that kind of person…the lady with the lists, the one who has a cupboard full of products that are tried, tested…and the ones I love are placed in my special carrier of honor and follow me on my route. My granddaughter follows me happily with her duster, at three years of age she is hooked on dusting (get them young before they know better), her job is to Step On the Scrubbing bubbles cleaner every morning and night before her bedtime :). Together we tackle the playroom, make sure the vacumning is done where carpet exists, and she has her own wipes for her hands. Her mother blames me for her manic behaviour ( did I mention she tried to paint her up for Canada Day last year? MY granddaughter proudly made up with body paint which took her mother two hours, walked into my house grabbed a baby wipe and proceeded to remove the paint her mother had used…Momma was not happy, Granddaughter was frantic…and I was just silent at the humor of it all)…all that work undone in less than five minutes. LOL it was funny.
Where did this come from? I was the woman with little pockets of chaos throughout her home, it was never dirty by any standard, but I had my spots to drop…my mother, would call me ‘organized messy’…she said my house was clean but disorganized yet I knew where everything was. Open my cupboards and it was a different story…lined up, wiped down, sized, alphabetical (still to this day). We would smile and she would say “I could hope one day dear your house will always be that organized.” Today it is…I follow the Flylady, I have an Agenda, I have three calendars, one for meals, one for Kids activities, and one colour coded calendar for Moms schedule. I do not like being late, never have…but I will leave 30 minutes early to be where I need to be, and panic if it gets to be within 5 minutes and there are delays. I have a bag packed for the granddaughter all the time, and I do not leave without wipes, lip gloss or a snack for her. We could be delayed, she would be uncomfortable…whats a Mamo to do?…lol.
This is not a problem for me, however it does affect those around me…my children laugh, they make their jokes to their friends…but if they come home and I have left something out…they look at me concerned and ask “Are you feeling ok Mom?”…I will smile, laugh, and say ‘Yes” and explain where my day went off track (usually the granddaughter has come up with a new game we must play!) besides I can do it after she goes to bed right!?!?!? Rest assured it does get done, I cant sleep without it. This is the Conundrum part of life.
I have become that woman…organized, clean, linen cupboard immaculate, cupboards organized, scheduled, laundry sorted, stock room organized and tidied at least twice a month, and yet I know in the back of my mind….I’m missing something! This will be tomorrow mission…along with fine tuning my Blog, laundry, tackle the teens rooms (if Im not back by Monday I have been swallowed), pick paint colours for next weeks mission…This is the Chaos and the Conundrum of my OCD…there is never an end to this Life I know, but I have found the enjoyment of the problem that is my Chaos…I have found my energy, and I stand renewed knowing that little pocket of mess or drama is not going to bring me down….because this too can be cleaned up thereby removing it, which leaves me fulfilled, embracing the new tomorrow.
This Chaos is my yesterday, my tomorrow brings promise of a new toy, a new adventure and a new task to be tackled.